When your heart is not “all in”

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In these last few months I have been utterly overwhelmed with anything and everything that has to do with work.  I have let it become all-consuming that it has affected every aspect of my life.

There have been several situations that prove to me that I am not as important to my employers as I have made the job to me, therefore I believe a change needs to be made and I make it today.

When I started this position I was all excited thinking that things were going to be so much better than what I had been used to.  Sadly I have to admit now, that the grass wasn’t greener on this side.  I wish I would’ve listened to the advice an old co-worker tried to give me, but no, I “knew better.”

Well, now I can’t even sleep and I’ve had more doctor visits in less than a year than I’ve had in, I don’t know how long, due to stress.  My family has been affected and I am ashamed to admit that I put first something not as valuable as my them.

My heart has checked-out of this job and it’s back in its rightful place, with my family and myself.

Now if I could just make a living out of selling my books… (Sigh)  At least I can still dream.

Needing to Vent

Today is a day for venting.  Why?  Because I had a good/bad day.  I know life isn’t fair, and that we don’t always get what we want or what we believe we deserve.  And quite honestly, I am usually one of the first ones to throw a feel-good quote out there.  But there are those occasions when things get to me and I can’t help it.

If you are reading this and you don’t believe in venting, I apologize.  If you also had a bad day or a bad moment and also need to let it go, feel free to do so in the comments section.  I’ve heard it’s good to write things down and then crumple the paper or in this case we can throw it out to the cyberspace and maybe forget it that way.

So, what happened to merit this meltdown?  Sales.  The constant requirement of up-selling and offering something to everyone we wait on.  I know, on my last post I talked about not worrying about the things I can’t change.  But sometimes, circumstances makes it close to impossible to ignore.

For example, the computer systems used to track sales are not flaw free.  However, management takes those numbers as if they were the law.  They don’t take into consideration all the work that gets put in to generating the sales, and many fall through the cracks.  But the expectation is still there.  So we have to be amazing with a flawed tracker.

I know my line of work is not the only one that has goals or deadlines, and usually I’m okay with that because I understand the need to grow a business.  What I have an issue with, is when the associates are streched to the point of breaking and it happens relentlessly day after day after day.

Sad part is, I enjoy what I do, for the most part.  If only everything was taken into consideration.  It’s not my dream job.  I’m still hoping I can land that one.

And what’s even worse than all I’ve complained about above… I can’t sing!!!   🙂